I reminded her of the first time she said she loved me and she paused, then replied she never loved me. Those are hard words to swallow as I pack and repack my clothes mindlessly. I’m as cold and numb as the newly fallen snow outside. She says we can’t be friends and somehow, that’s a relief. I wander the hotel room looking for the phone that’s in my hand. She skids out of the parking lot and I want a tall drink. My throat is dry and I can’t get warm. The snow falls constantly and I will never warm again.
I awoke from a nightmare and saw my wife standing above me with a baseball bat. Angry tears lined her face. She stabbed me at dinner over a pork chop, on accident, in the ribs. I don’t think the baseball bat is an accident. I rolled off the bed as the bat hit the mattress. Then, I stood and politely asked her to leave. She said no so I put on my slippers and never came back.
We wanted to see each other and always made time to talk. She would email at work and I would bother her at mine. I felt like I was falling quickly and tried to push quickly towards the bottom. I wanted every moment to be more special and wanted to remember every moment. The closer we were the more I wanted to be near her, just to sit by her. Breathe her in me then, she stopped talking. No emails, messages, not even a goodbye. I walked the places where we traveled but she is only in my memories.
I forgot, everything when I looked into her eyes and our fingers touched. I used to dream of this woman before we met I knew I would marry her. We went to dinner and she said she had someone else. I waited. We met in a year and she had three boyfriends. I waited. We were in bed once and she asked what my favorite part or her was so I placed my fingers on her heart. She destroyed me but love, is a battle. Six years later, I wait.
I wanted to take my girl out on a nice trip for the weekend. Only, I didn’t have the money but there were some women that kind of liked me. I went on a few harmless dates. Then, I let them buy our hotel and gas money for our trip. A few women left cards and messages at our hotel and I can’t believe how angry they were. My girl left on business and gave me her credit card because I have no job. I bought hotels and dinners for other women and she dumped me when she came back.
I was kind of stupid in hindsight but she told me the proposal she wanted. We were on a break from each other so I left my bed with my determined pants on straight to the jeweler. We used to come here as kids and pretend to get married every Saturday. I never looked at the prices so I went to the bank then, I went back to the jeweler. I asked my friend to hold a table for us. I asked someone else for a fancy hotel room. When I gave her the ring Saturday, she cried. She’s seeing someone.